Dear E. Jean: My boyfriend’s mother constantly talks about his ex-girlfriends. She praises their beauty, charm, and achievements; tags them in posts on Facebook; and always “loves” their updates and photos. (She ignores mine.) She makes sure both my boyfriend and I are informed—on a daily basis—about his exes and their well-being. And the latest garnish on this Momster Cocktail? Instead of congratulating me on my recent accomplishments, she asks me to help find his ex-girlfriends jobs at my company!
My boyfriend is an only child. She is a single mother who took his moving out and moving in with me very emotionally. (Bear in mind: He’s in his mid-twenties!) We have agreed to spend weekends with her to “keep the peace.” My boyfriend has been very vocal, insisting she stop talking about his exes in front of us, but she reacted by hiring a private detective to find dirt on me and my family. I’m desperate! —She’s Never Once Complimented Me
Miss Never Once, My Love: You have the upper hand here. “Keeping the peace,” spending weekends in her lair—forget it! Stop seeing the woman. When she promises to respect your family and ceases babbling about the exes, you and her son might meet her for dinner. She’s a conniving woman out to exterminate you from her son’s life. Be on your guard.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2019. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.